A Revolution of Resolutions

This year I’ve decided to make no resolutions. Only promises.

Inspired by John O’Nolan’s post about resolutions, I thought I’d reflect on some things that this year has taught me.

Don’t wait until January 1st to make life changes

The biggest thing I’ve changed this year is my health. I’ve completely changed my outlook on exercise and fitness, I’ve completely changed my attitude to food, and I’ve all around become a more healthy person.

I did this every week of this year, and probably nearly every day in some small way. I didn’t make it a New Year thing, I just knew I needed to make a change and just did it.

I didn’t set any weight goals or a desire to lose a particular amount of weight, I focused on just getting healthier. I did a little bit every day of the last year and focused on just doing that well. Sometimes it was a run, sometimes it was a gym workout. Sometimes it was just choosing pasta instead a pizza.

I just focused on doing something healthy rather than plotting my life away. It worked. I still don’t know how much weight I’ve lost or how much healthier I am, but I know I look better, feel better, fit into smaller jeans, and don’t get tired as easily. That’s good enough for me.

There’s more to life than working hard all the time

I have a friend (who I won’t name) that lives his life the exact opposite to how I do. He takes life as it it comes, and he’s happy with what he’s got now, instead of plotting for something better in the future.

He’s happy with the hand he’s dealt, and he spends his life living in the moment of that. I won’t lie: it makes me jealous.

I’m the opposite: I’m never happy with where I currently am. I’m never happy with what I have right now, and I spend my life always pursuing something bigger and better. I’m never good enough. The things I have are never good enough.

Whilst this sounds like a good trait to have (and it’s definitely this attitude that has got me to where I am now), it grates after a while. Maybe I’m getting wiser or I’ve had an epiphany or something, but it just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

Working hard is important to do (although my friend wouldn’t agree), but it isn’t everything in life. Hobbies are important. Family are important. Friends are really important. Life’s nothing without relationships.

Really, the least important thing in life is spending it working your arse off.

I’ve made a promise to myself to live more in the moment this year. To try and not always be desiring something I haven’t got, and appreciate what I have now. I have a great life surrounded by great people, and I should appreciate that a little bit more.

Hanging out with friends and family is the best thing we’ve got in life

I’ve spent a lot of time over Christmas just hanging out, as the Americans would say. Sometimes it’s been with friends, sometimes it’s been with my family, but it’s always been great.

I didn’t see enough of my friends and family over Christmas (or even last year), but it’s definitely the best thing in the world.

I think I was probably quite late in the year working this one out, but I did in the end.

I’ve made a promise to myself to see more of my friends in 2014, and more of my family. If everything else went tits up tomorrow, they’d be the ones there for me, and I think we all forget that sometimes.

They’re also my biggest supporters, and that slips my mind sometimes too.

New shit doesn’t bring you happiness

I’m a gadget obsessive. When I was younger I used to spend all my money on stupid gadgets I didn’t need, didn’t use, and didn’t keep for very long. It’s taken me a long time to get out of a habit that bad, and I still have it to a certain extent.

If you know me personally you’d know how often I change my phone. I must have had at least 4 new phones this year. I’ve had 4 different tablets (Nexus 7, Nexus 10, Samsung Note 10.1 2014 Edition, iPad Mini Retina). I’ve bought a Wii U. I’ve bought more than I can remember, literally.

I dread to add it up, but it’s fair to say I’ve spent a lot of money that I didn’t have to spend. Looking back on those 365 days, it didn’t give me happiness. All this new tech hasn’t brought me any extra fulfilment in my life than not having it. I could have lived without buying it, most certainly.

Being a gadget obsessive I like to have new things all the time, and when you first buy them you get a little excited, but that feeling of elation wears off after a few days, and then you’re looking around for your next fix. Sometimes that elated feeling turns into buyer’s remorse.

When it comes to buying shiny things, I’m sure I’ve got a mild mental disorder.

I’ve made a promise to myself to curb this to nearly zero in 2014. Last week I made my last gadget purchase of 2014: a new phone and a new tablet. These are the only things I’ll be using this year. I’m buying nothing else gadget or tech wise that costs a lot of money.

In fact, I’m looking at reducing this year.

We all need a hobby

I used to say that web design was my hobby. Working on the web is a curious career: most of the really dedicated people see it as a hobby as well as a job. Whilst that’s great for producing really good work, it’s not great for your mind, your state of health, or your relationships.

I’ve touched upon the topic before and I’ve still not found a satisfactory way of explaining what I want to say (I’ve got a draft of an article baking), but I’ve come to the realisation that I’m not my job. I’m more than just the little thing I do to make money, and so are you.

I’ve got more worth on this earth than just ‘Designer’. I know about more stuff than just that.

Matt Gemmell said it better than me anyway.

I’ve learned this a lot this year. I’ve taken up playing American Football again, I’ve taken up keeping fit, and I’m taking up writing for 2014. I’m looking at taking up a few other things, but I’ve got some stripping back to do first.

I’ve made a promise to myself to write more in 2014. We’re only half of what we can be if we’re not expressing our opinions and thoughts, and there’s a great skill in writing those down and structuring them correctly. It’s a skill I intend to improve.

Negative people aren’t good to be around

I’ve learned this a few times in 2013, and it’s become a big driver in my thinking over the last couple of months. I’m going to get a bit dramatic over the next couple of paragraphs.

Negative people are like a slow-moving poison. They spread insidiously through other people’s minds, slowly polluting anybody else’s mind they get a chance to touch.

I’ve come across several negative people that I’ve had to deal with closely over the last year, and towards the end of the year I’ve come to realise that it isn’t good for me.

I’ve made a promise to myself to be uncompromising in my treatment of negative people in 2014: I’m not going to associate with them. At all.

We have the power in our heads to overcome anything we want to and do anything we want to

I know, I know. It’s a phenomenally twee way of ending my article, but it’s true. I learned it myself this year.

I’m going to share something with you I’ve not shared with many people.

Before the start of 2013, I’d been suffering pretty badly with anxiety. Specifically: panic attacks that struck me for no rhyme or reason. ((I wouldn’t wish panic attacks on my worst enemy. I plan on writing about it in more detail soon, but trust me when I say they’re not fun, and they really mess with your head.)) 2012 was not a fun a year because of them. I felt like I was in a constant battle with my own brain to not freak out at, well, nothing at all. It sounds stupid because it was, but irrational fears are called that for a reason.

2012 saw me struggling to sit down and watch television for longer than 30 minutes without suffering a panic attack. Going to the cinema—one of my favourite things on this entire planet—was nearly impossible. I fought it and still went, but regularly freaked out at nothing at all.

For almost the entirety of 2012 I couldn’t sit down with my own thoughts. Trying to get to sleep at night was like going to war with my own psyche. Every. Single. Night.

By the middle of 2013, my panic attacks had completely gone. I’ve always been a bloody-minded person, and I’d promised myself that no matter what, I wasn’t going to become a slave to my own mind playing stupid tricks on me, so I worked damned hard to stop it.

This proved to me the power of my mind, and just exactly what we can achieve if we put our minds to it and just do something.

Growing up spiritually

Since I got rid of the panic attacks, I’ve started to be able to listen to my own thoughts again. I’ve really grown spiritually from that this year. A lot of my thinking towards things has changed radically, which is fantastic in lots of ways.

More than anything, I’m of a calm mind again, and that’s a great place to be.